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It's
a Jungle Out There...
Ever felt like ‘nothing’? Like one of the ‘invisible
ones’ who only appear in other people’s perceptions
when they run out of patsies to pay out on?
Invisible, irrelevant, a waste of air. Sometimes, it seems, there’s
just no way to feel good about yourself. You’re not alone.
Low self-esteem is rife in today’s society and can lead to
stress-related illnesses, coronary heart disease, anti-social behaviour,
depression, anxiety and even suicide.
So, let’s do something about it!
There are many factors that can contribute to a low sense of worth.
• Family: If a child doesn’t feel loved and valued within
the family unit she may find it difficult to love and value herself.
If the family has been divided through divorce, she may also experience
feelings of guilt as being partly to blame for the break-up.
• Hormonal: During adolescence all kinds of crazy things are
going on within the mind and body. As we become aware of the physical
changes taking place, it is common to also become more self-critical.
• Abuse: This is arguably the most dangerous cause of low
self-esteem because it can lead to a downward spiral of self-loathing
and self-destruction if left unchecked. When a person has been subjected
to abuse of any kind - be it physical, sexual or mental –
the sense of self worth becomes blurred to a point of non-existence.
Victims often blame themselves for the abuse and refuse to accept
that they deserve better. They may wrongly accept that their lot
in life is to simply take what is dished out to them and suffer.
So what can we do about it?
If you can relate to the ‘invisible ones’ in the first
paragraph here are some steps you can take to increase your self-esteem:
• Wake up a little earlier and take your time getting ready
(for school/work/uni/etc) Before leaving, stand up close to your
mirror and study your face. No judgements about how you think everything
should be arranged on your face, just study… you.
Say out
loud the colour of your eyes and be creative about it. For example
– instead of brown, say ‘chocolate’, ‘espresso’,
‘ebony’. Blue becomes ‘sapphire’, ‘cobalt’
or ‘violet’. Notice the shape of your eyes. They are
unique. Nobody on Earth has eyes like yours.
Treat the rest of your
facial features the same way. Whether or not you like your nose,
it is unique to you and no one else shall have it! Appreciate everything
your face has been through with you. This may not be easy to do
initially. Perhaps you will cry. Persevere though and you will become
a friend to you.
• Speak up. When you don’t like what’s happening,
learn to say so. For example:
“When you say you don’t have time to help me with my
homework I feel like you think my schoolwork’s not important
to you.”
“I want to increase my productivity but I need you to show
me how this task is done.”
“Don’t speak to me like that. I don’t deserve
to be treated that way and I won’t accept it.”
• Look up. Never be afraid to look to others for support.
If you have a network of friends around you – lean on that
support. You know that if one of your friends were suffering, as
you are, you would want them to lean on you. Allow them the privilege
of helping you.
If your support network isn’t able to help, contact a professional
counsellor or therapist. Now, although this may sound a little dramatic,
you deserve to be happy with yourself and no stone should be left
unturned until you are.
Your doctor can refer you to a counsellor. Most hospitals also have
counselling services available.
Some other helpful contact numbers are:
Kids Help Line: 1800 55 1800
Lifeline: 131114
And finally,
• Live it up! It’s your life to enjoy and savour. So
go do it!
© Carol Dorman 2005 - Quill Writing Services…When words
count
www.quillwritingservices.com.au
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